Dedication

            PROLOGUE—It Was Looking Too Easy

            CHAPTER I—The Beginning

            Strokes happen

                        The Signs

                        Racing Home

                        The Emergency Room Wait

                        In-Hospital Care

                        Space-Age Technology

                        Seeking Help from a Higher Order

            CHAPTER II—Stabilizing

            Nothing is a lay-up

                        The Wait

                         Family Support

                         Extent of Damage

                         Touched by an Angel

                         Beginning the Long Fight Back

                         Detours Along the Way

            CHAPTER III—The Rehab Hospital

 Getting down to work

              Getting started

              Working through the Regimen

 The Fly in the Ointment

                         Connections with the Outside World

                         Preparing to Come Home

                         Home Adaptation

                         Final Steps Before Home Furlough

            CHAPTER IV—The 24-Hour Home Furlough

            When you think you’ve reached the lowest rung of hell,

            watch out for the next descent

                        Coming Home

                        Family Assistance

                        Hitting the Caregiver’s Wall

                        Night Duty

                        Hospital Post-Mortem

                        Advice and Consent

            CHAPTER V—The First Month at Home

            Sometimes good people with the best of intentions can

            make a bad situation worse

                        Wheelchair Battles

                         Home Care

                         Hemorrhaging Money

                         Establishing a Home Routine

                         Running on a Constant Treadmill

                         Searching for Positive Signs

                         Home Nursing Interim

                         Danger Lurks

                         September 11, 2001: A Day of Infamy

                         Saying Goodbye

            CHAPTER VI—Transitioning to Our New Life

            Ties that bind and support

                        Building a Home Team

                        Finding Support and Assistance

                        Our Mr. Bush

                        Additional Support

                        An Unbalanced Relationship

                        Fear of Falling

                        What Next?

            CHAPTER VII—Medical Complications

            When you think things can’t get any worse, they do

                        Lowering the Risk of Another Stroke

                        Nothing is Routine

                        Diabetes II

                        Cardiac Missed Diagnosis

                        Depression

                        Constipation and Urinary Tract Problems

                        Sleep Apnea

                        Facial Pain

                        Complications from Medication

            CHAPTER VIII—Maneuvering through the Medical Maze

            A crash course in working through a medical bureaucracy

                        Timely Medical Appointments are an Oxymoron

                        Finding a Case Manager

                        Too Many Specialists, Too Little Coordination

                        Lassoing the Medical Bureaucracy

                        All Things Considered

            CHAPTER IX—Caregiver’s Anger

            Anger management is an oxymoron

                        Targeted Anger

                         Burnout Becomes Self-Defeating

                         Jacqui’s Lesson

                         A Caregiver’s Lament

                         Seeking Professional Support

                         Personal Fears

                         Little Extra Self to Share

                         Reward of a Separate Vacation

                         Re-Invigoration Works

                         Degrees of Separation

            CHAPTER X—The Formal Therapy Program

            Centimeter by centimeter we inch our way forward

                        Outpatient Therapies

                        Restoring a Mind

                        Aquatic Therapy Program

                        Overcoming the “Plateau

                        Occupational and Speech Therapies, Part II

                        Post-Graduate Exercise

                        New Opportunities and Next Steps

            CHAPTER XI—Friends and Family

            Finding support when your back is against the wall

                        Herb Responds

                        Problems Prompted by Home Visits

                        New Friends

                        Neighborhood Comfort

            CHAPTER XII—Food Smart Recovery

            If it has no salt, fat, or sugar, it probably has no taste…but so

            what?

                        Identifying Specific Needs

                        Discarding the Zealots

                        Pragmatic Solutions

                        The Good News

            CHAPTER XIII—Toileting Nightmares

            The world is a difficult place and a little help wouldn’t be so terrible

                        Urinary Frequency

                        Searching for Unisex Bathrooms

                        Hazardous Stops While Driving

                        Creative Dryness

                        The Second Half of the Equation

                        Becoming an Advocate

            CHAPTER XIV

            Discovering a widening world

                        Painful Experiences

                        A Tailspin When the Caregiver Gets Hurt

                        Another Attempt at Advocacy

                        Moving On

            CHAPTER XV

            Plan ahead

                        The World Turned Upside Down

                        Life Savers” Medicare and AARP healthcare Supplement

                        Pharmaceuticals, a Huge Drain

                        Medical Bills Require Careful Examination

                        Final Thoughts

            CHAPTER XVI—What Happens When the Caregiver Gets Sick

             When the bow breaks the cradle will fall

                        Out of the Blue

                        Calling for Help

                        Dodging a Bullet

            CHAPTER XVII—One Stroke, Two Survivors

            Men and women were created to go through life two by two

                        Getting Back on Track

                        Reclaiming an Intimate Relationship

            CHAPTER XVIII—Restoring Self Reliance

            As long as an inchworm moves forward, it progresses

                        Overcoming the Shock of Stroke

                        The Value of Goal Setting

                        Enforced Independence

                        Stumbling Blocks

                        Doubtfully Returning Autonomy

                        A Progress Report

                        My Wish List: Longer Term Goals

            CHAPTER XIX—Conclusion

            There is no vision as perfect as hindsight

                        Herb’s Report Card

                        It Takes a Cosmos

            Acknowledgements: key Participants in Our Journey

            Bibliography

            Appendix A

               Words to know

            Appendix B

               Useful resources on the internet

            Appendix C

              Herb Kleiman’s daily medications

                        8-AM

                        4-6 PM

                        9-10 PM

            Appendix D

               Herb Kleiman’s summary sheet

                        Patient’s Comprehensive Medical History

                        Recent Stroke History

            Appendix E

              Medications as of 3/16/04

            Appendix F